Hey everyone,
Welcome to my new blog! I had to find something to help me sleep at night and i don't use myspace anymore!! Anyways... I write really random stuff, some happy, some downright crude. So enjoy, writing is something that really lets me be myself...
So its 1:24am and I can't sleep for the life of me... a problem that I often have. The lady at the drugstore says not to use sleeping pills for more than a week straight or you get immune to them. Wtf? Why do they make them in packs of 40 then?? whatever. Wine is also another form of "sleeping pill" for me. One glass and an hour later i'm out cold. But that is getting a little pricy...lol. Next attempt to fall asleep... Music. Now why the FUCK did I think that would help?? Like opening the doors to your very soul and all your memories (good and bad) would help me sleep. Stupid STUPID Jen....
MP3 is on shuffle... lets see what it gives me tonight
"Have a little faith in me"
Stare off into space for a moment and remember....
ah yes.... there it is.... the ex... so nice to remember you at this god forsaken hour.
Makes me remember why you just couldn't deliver? No matter how much faith I put in you, somehow you always let me down. 3 years, endless tears and finally a breaking point that sent me to the other side of the world, and somehow I still don't hate you. I should. I should hate you forever...and I broke up with you. Its not very often you meet a guy, who says he loves you and openly admits to calling you down so you won't leave him. Sad. Next song....
"bleeding love"
LUCAS!!! :D Now this song can have all kinds of memories... but the first one that comes to mind is a good one... actually a favourite. I moved to Brisbane, Australia for a while... met an 18 year old guy who just made everything better all the time. ALL THE TIME! How often does that happen?? It was stupid, sticky hot night at 2am, laying on his bed with the radio on, and there is Leona... with just the right tune to make it the perfect night to be there forgetting all the reasons I was there in the first place... Leona & Luke... perfect pair. Next!
"feeling Love"
mmmmmmmmmmm sex...... Paula cole found her way deep into my soul with this one. Part of a "get ready" to go out and have TOO much fun with friends kinda tune... super HOT bath with wine (or gin) depended on my mood :D relax and sweat the day out, make you feel amazing kinda tune, it STILL has that power, even sitting here, I stop sometimes, close my eyes and just get lost in her lyrical porn.... but her voice makes it more erotic than your typical type of "gross demeaning porn" Definately a private, personal way to wind down and wind yourself up at the same time. The one and only paula cole song I've ever fallen for.... god its fuckin fantastic. Look it up ladies when you're home alone and want to feel amazing. click and shuffle....
oooooo this is a goodie!
"lit up"
Buck Cherry.... I've been having a party with you for years now!!! HOT HOT summer nights in Winnipeg (home) with Jo, the camero, the pal and even HOTTER men.... a bottle of gin, shots of tequila.. oh jesus, I'm smiling as I write this and the memories flood my head. Life was perfection at its best. Anything in the world could have been happening but when this time of night and this song came around, NOTHING mattered... nothing. Shuffle.
hmmm interesting.
"Me & You"
My first club experience in Australia. White tank top, dark skinny jeans, 5 inch stilletoes... the heat. A bottle of corona in hand. I got lost in the music, forgetting EVERYTHING. Nothing hurt... nothing missed. Life was just beginning.... not everyone gets the chance to start fresh. And I moved 8000 miles just so I could do that, and for the first time since I arrived... I felt convinced that I could and would do just that.
and my battery dies. Probably a sign that I should quit on a good one. But all songs aside, truly music is a huge key to our soul. The things we have put away or forgotten until the power of song, tied into that lost memory triggers the past and somehow we can go back, and remember everything. Right down to who we're with, what we were wearing and how we felt. Not always good memories, and some people say they don't associate music with people or memories. I flat out call you a liar. You don't get a choice. Music and memories... you have to have at least one. If you don't, you have fucking issues.
Jen jen jen what can i say but that the time that we spent together was all but too brief. you opened me up like no else has before and threw shit around, and before you could fix it you left.... i miss you for the nights we spent together the mornings just laying there, but most of all i miss the memories of us that i selfishlessly threw away and will never get back...... due to a fucked up habit!! always wishing you the best! really i am xoxo
ReplyDeleteWell Jen i hope you are sleepin right now. lol.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to coment on your blogs! wow very inspiring... i can totally relate to your relationship with music. Since a can remember, i have related certain moments in my life with the music i listen to. I wont get into specifics or i might as well start up my own blog lol. I was so locked onto your words. I know exactly how it feels to get right back to that moment when you hear a song. The smells in the air, the clothes you were wearing, the time of year, the people you were with, the things that were going on in your life good and bad, the time that song was overplayed on the radio. And there are so many people who dont listen to music at all! And there are some people who do listen to music, yet it means nothing to them. Its weird to me almost. Like it should be a part of them because i could not imagine what my life would be like without it! I would not have the certain feelings i have. Its like a switch, when you think you have moved on and then all of a sudden you hear a song and you are right back to where u left off. ugh. now im not going to be able to sleep lol. Maybe i will comment more tomorrow. miss ya Jen! sweet dreams! Linz