To The Men...

A great day should end in blissful amounts of sleep, but instead I'm sitting at my computer after rolling around in bed for an hour unable to sleep... I started to clean out my hard drive, going through pictures and documents that I no longer need or want, only to haunt myself with memories and ended up feeling in a soft romantic mood, so I decided to switch on one my favourite playlists, which consists of Michael buble, john hiatt, and oddly enough limp bizkit. HA! Bet you didn't see that one coming! But the playlist takes me back to some of my favourite romantic moments. Now of course some of you who are scratching your head wondering how the fuck limp bizkit could ever take anyone back to a romantic moment... well I'll tell you, but without names but its one of my top 5.

I had gone out to a social with a friend and some of his guy friends. It was a super hot summer night (of course...lol) I was 18. Yep. 18. And I remember it like it was yesterday. He had bought a new car that was standard and was just learning to drive it (not relevant to the story at all but I can see it playing out in my head) after the social, we were all out at someones house, cars everywhere, he had left it behind cause we were drinking a bit. ok.... maybe ALOT. 3 am came around and the song Rollin' by limp bizkit came on. Of course it was all the rage at the time, so the volume was turned up high enough to piss off any neighbor within a mile radius, and he got right into it, I remember sitting on the hood of the car laughing at him for being drunk and retarded when he just stopped, came right up to me, put his hands on the sides of face and into my hair, and told me I was simply the most spectacular thing he had ever seen and kissed me so deeply it went straight to my heart. All with limp bizkit in the background. And til this day everytime I hear it I think of him and that moment. Right down to the grey pants and white tshirt he was wearing. I can smell the hugo boss on his skin and taste the beer on his mouth.

So tonight I am going to "waste" a wish. I wish that everyone can experience that kind of passion sometime in their life. Something that is so utterly breath taking, you could never forget it. I'm going to fall in love with my past all over again tonight, if only for the length of a 18 song playlist. I'm going to forget that I have responsibilities and just be in the moment all over again.

Oddly enough while having my breath taken away over and over again, none of my ex's are in there.... why is it when we think back to the magic of those breath taking moments, it rarely includes those we chose to date? Was it the series of moments that lead us to who we are with now? Is it when we finally find the person who can take our breath away while dating is the one we choose to spend our lives with? I've always heard two theories or ideas; Timing is everything. And life is not measured by the breaths that we take, but the moments that take our breath away. So if those two cliche statements just happen to be true, why doesn't anyone ever warn us that they have to work together? My friend took my breath away, but the timing was wrong. And with those who had the timing, lacked the moments. I think that we get so few of these moments in our lives that eventually we just conclude that we aren't going to get anymore and settle for timing without the magic just to get that slap in the face that it can still happen. Or on the other end of the spectrum, we wait for that perfect breath taking moment, searching for it so desperately that the rest just passes us by. Is it even possible to balance somewhere in the middle?

Moments that take our breath away are just that. Moments. After its over, it's over. Moment passed. Now what are the chances that it could turn into a lifetime of moments like that one? Slim. But what if you're with someone who is fantastic and the timing is perfect, but still no breath taking moment that shocks you to your soul? Take the timing! Take the timing with complete satisfaction of having those past moments stamped into your heart and soul, to enjoy whenever you want without living a life in waiting.

My song switched... and I'm in a different place with a different person. A smile on my face cause this one is completely different than the last, but just as good. God, I love music... and the men of my past who gave me these memories to enjoy forever, and the man of my present who will give me many more. I don't usually do soft, romantic postings so enjoy this one for what it's worth. And maybe you should turn some of your tunes on that take you back to a place you haven't been to in a while, it'll make you smile for hours..... ;)