battle wounds

Feeling Good....

A complete contradiction to how I'm feeling....
Fight. You hear it. See it everywhere. So many reasons for it.

Everyone is fighting, and I'm not talking about the "i hate you kinda fight" but the kind that runs a little deeper, means a little more and hurts. The kind that cuts you for life. The kind that punches its way through your heart and scars your soul. The kinda fight you wish you never have to have. But we do. The fight to happiness....

The fight I'm talking about is the defining fight of who and what we are. The continuing battle of filling the voids we have. Those holes within our lives that are there from the beginning or slowly develop over time. our lives are a circle of family, friends, activities and work. A friend of mine recently told me how he needs to figure out how to fill the big gaping hole in his life, cause the life he's living is no life. Despite the fact he's relatively happy with it, he has a huge void that he doesn't know how to fill. But the thing I don't understand is why that means that the rest of his life is a reflection of that void and is deemed to be not a real life. Is it that our natural way of comparing what we are and what we do to others, is what makes us feel so very inadequate? And then throw in a gaping hole and then our entire life is now entirely not good enough? I'd really like to know where this invisible bar came from. Who set the standard? Cause you hear "society deems...." but the part that cracks me up is, we ALL say it, and we are ALL society! So really all we have to blame is ourselves. We set our own standards. I think we are all jealous fools. We all are jealous of those who SEEM happier than we are, even though, those people who SEEM happier are having the same fight we are. A vicious cycle that comes from fake smiles and a simple lie to save face. Ignorance is bliss? Are you fucking kidding me?

KNOW the people around you. KNOW that they are fighting too. KNOW that they too have voids and gaping holes. Don't let them hide behind the fake, white picket fence. Cause maybe, if we knew that those around us, whose happiness we had on a pedestal, wasn't always what it seemed, we'd be less inclined to feel so very inadequate. Maybe those holes wouldn't seem as big.... but in the end, don't compare. Just stop. Stop looking at someone else's life to be your invisible bar. If you were all alone, ENTIRELY alone.... would you feel the same? Set your standard there. And fight. Fight for what you want, if you know what it is, and fight to find out if you don't. It'll ALWAYS be worth it in the end.