Rearranged... yep, a bit old school tonight... helps me remember.
Remember who you were when the people in your life didn't affect what you said or what you did? They didn't force you to censor who you are because that's what they think is best?
FUCK THAT. I'M DONE. No more censorship.
This is not going to be one of my normal reflective blogs. This is a statement of who I am... which I seem to be forgetting lately. And I"m so done with it. ALL of it.
I've been through some shit in my life. And everytime I come out of that shit storm, I'm a better person for it. I'm HUMAN. I make mistakes, I fuck up, I fuck up big, I fuck up small. But no one out there is any better. For SO long, I stopped caring what anyone thought. And as soon as I did, I started doing things that were important to ME. And I was a better person for it. Lately, I've been forgetting... I've been forgetting the lesson's I've learned. I've been forgetting who I am and what I believe in. I let others judgement and opinions matter more than they should have. I've forgotten the standards for being MY friend.
I do not welcome your judgement or your negativity.
I do not want your bullshit or your two-faced lies.
I don't want your double standards or your lack of faith.
I don't want your bad decisions being forced into my life.
I will not tolerate you acting superior.
I don't want your perfection.
It is not for you to judge how I live my life or who I am. I understand that I make mistakes. If you don't, then off you go. There is the fucking door. I don't need your approval. I never have, and I never will. And those who's approval I do need, are the ones I never have to ask for it.
But as for the rest...I'm not afraid of your judgement or your opinions. I will ALWAYS be OK... despite your thoughts. And I will forget you... but I will take your lesson with me... I won't forget who I am anymore. Not for one more god damn minute. I don't put up with shit like this, and I sure as fuck am not going to start now.
Thank you for reminding me who I am... I missed it.
Pumpkin, you're fucking rad and I'm so fucking happy to see you get it again. Seriously, I'm really proud to call you one of my friends at the worst of times, now I'm so proud I could burst :-)
ReplyDeleteWheres the like button on your blog!?! *Like* There, I made my own. “The truth shall make you free, but first it shall make you angry”
ReplyDeleteIts very important to be you at all times for fuckin sure. I don't want to know any posers.
ReplyDeleteI have no patience for people who need validation or praise. Only children get that from me. People need to look inside yourself. If you don't think you are great why the hell should anyone else. I'm interested to know more of the specifics of your rage its good, as long as its not misdirected, like my road rage sooooo bad. Its Brenda Lyons by the way. I couldn't figure out how to comment as name/url
I hear ya loud and clear. What I have a problem with is some of these people you refer to are family (for me) and its a tough call to write someone off that in amongst people you wanna be with.
Sometimes I have to shake my head and come out from under the cloak of judgement they have encased me in. It makes my shoulders slope.
But U R right. Sooo right!!
Atta Girl...:-)
ReplyDeleteand for that is why we love you Jen.
Mom