L.O.V.E

I know its been a long time... I just lost my inspiration for a while...

But tonight, I'm inspired by my music (adele) and love...the real, deep down, makes your heart ache, twists your stomach up in knots kind. The kind we all want, but seldom find and wonder where the hell it is...

My close friend is getting married on saturday. And she and I are similar in the fact that we don't get "girly" about things. You know, the giddy, make you squeal, do a little dance when no one is looking kinda girly. But she's ready to burst with happiness. I watch her posts on her facebook page, and her text messages with all the exclamation marks and I can't help but smile every time. I smile even as I write this cause her joy is contagious to anyone who really loves her. Watching the people I love be in love, or happy fills me with love. So on saturday, when I watch her pledge her love, I will not be the girl sitting there wishing I was in her shoes (or if I do its because they are a FANTASTIC shade of blue) but instead be grateful that she is one less person I know who will never have to be without it.

A careful reminder to myself of how blessed with love I am; A ring on my finger, not for engagement, but for love from a special man. A ring on another as a reminder of love from my mother, another from a close friend. A necklace around my neck as a constant reminder of MY love for life. Some of us spend so much time dwelling on what we don't have, that we forget what we DO have.

It may not always be in the same form as someone else we know, however, its never any less meaningful. Nor should it ever be taken for granted. But at the end of every day, self love is most important, for without it, the rest would cease to exist. The rule in which I learned the hard way is; if you don't love you, no one else will either. It is only self love that allows us to prevail over broken hearts, bad relationships (of all kinds; romantic, family or friends)it creates a strength that allows our hearts to ignore the shit, and move on to something better. To grow from our losses, our defeats and abuse.

So, when I watch those I love, love others wholly and without reservation, while still loving themselves, I feel admiration and pride in knowing that they ignored the shit, grew stronger and better and now get to move on. I think that if we remember to forget the crap that pulls us down and take a look around once in a while to refresh our memory of how fuckin lucky we really are, things won't weigh us down so easily. And then, when they get married or have children or anything else that gives them that much joy we can say CONGRATULATIONS! and mean it without jealousy or envy.

So, my friend, I love you and your family. And I would bend over backwards for anyone I love. To be able to watch you get married fills my heart with so much joy. You deserve every happiness possible. And I swear to you, the only thing I will be jealous or envious of, is the fact that you have those amazing shoes and I don't!!!! I love you. I wish you both nothing but the best for everyday of your life.